From the Pastor’s Heart

“A young man was widowed and left alone with his six-year-old daughter. He had a hard time working through his own grief, but admitted that the hardest part was trying to comfort and explain the death to his daughter. Even, with all he knew, he was left at a loss.

One day as he and his little girl were standing on a busy street corner waiting for a light to change; a very large truck suddenly sped by the corner. As it came close to them, the truck blocked out the sun and frightened his daughter. The man picked her up to comfort her, and in a moment of revelation the wisdom of God broke through and he was able to explain death to his daughter.

‘When you saw the truck pass, it scared you. But let me ask you this, would you rather have been struck by the truck, or the shadow of the truck?’

‘The shadow of the truck, of course,’ his daughter answered.

He then explained to her, ‘When your mother died, she was only hit by the shadow of death because Jesus was hit by the truck, his death on the cross.’”

Sometimes we feel like that little six-year-old girl as we wrestle with death. We have so many questions. There is so much we don’t understand. We are left to pick up the pieces, make sense of it all and begin to carve out a new kind of normal for our lives as we attempt to live again.

Over the years I have waited with countless families and counseled with them as they stood helplessly watching their loved ones pass from this life. Sometimes, ministry of presence is all one can offer; for often there are no acceptable answers to our questions. I have learned over the years that Christianity is often more a religion of presence than it is a religion of answers.

I always remind folks to focus on the things that we know, embracing the answers that we have, and not waste time or energy on those questions we may never have answered. The apostle Paul reminds us; “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.” Some day when we are face to face with our Lord all of our questions will be answered.

I also focus on the Apostle Paul’s outlook on grief. We grieve but we grieve differently than non-Christians. We grieve but we do not grieve as those who have no hope. Our hope is in the One who showers us with grace. Our hope is in the one who reassures us that death is not the end. Jesus reminds us: “Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many rooms.”

These last days I have stood with my mother, sister and family watching my sister, Diana slowly slip away from us. As I write this I have just learned that Diana will be moved to a hospice house where we will continue to surround her with our love and wait her passing.

I find however, my heart is troubled. It is troubled because no parent should have to bury their child, much less two of her children. I am troubled that Diana has had to deal with this disease for so many years and suffer so many complications. I am troubled because there will be one more empty chair around our family table. Yes, my heart is troubled! But I know God deals with troubled hearts in loving and gracious ways until they are once again healed. I know we do not make this journey alone.

But in the midst of a broken and troubled heart I am able to discover a sense of thankfulness and rejoicing.

1. I am thankful for the gift of a sister for 51 years.
2. I am thankful for the many memories that I now cherish.
3. I am thankful for a mother, who is my hero, as she so bravely deals with her grief with such magnanimous faith.
4. I am thankful for a loving and devoted wife.
5. I am thankful for three marvelous daughters that I adore and their wonderful spouses.
6. I am thankful for two precious grandbabies.
7. I am thankful for my baby sister who graces us all with her gift of laughter.
8. I am thankful for a church family that loves me and supports me.
9. I am thankful for loving and caring friends.
10. I am especially thankful that in God’s love death does not have the last word.
11. I am thankful that even though there will be another empty chair at our table my sister will be seated at a far greater table. She will have the great pleasure of joining my father, brother, grandmother, grandfather and so many other family members and friends at the King’s table.

One of my favorite hymns is the Gaither hymn: Because He Lives….

God sent his Son, they called him Jesus;
he came to love, heal and forgive;
he lived and died to buy my pardon,
an empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because he lives, I can face tomorrow;
because he lives, all fear is gone;
because I know he holds the future,
and life is worth the living just because he lives.

And then one day I’ll cross the river;
I’ll fight life’s final war with pain;
and then as death gives way to victory,
I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know he reigns.

Yes, even though my heart is broken with grief, I am blessed and grateful

“Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? But thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Your Blessed Pastor,
Russel